Oral Sex
How to Perform Cunnilingus
Tip #1: Learn the ABCs of oral sex on her
While every body is different, a few basic things remain the same. Here are some tried and true tips for before, during and after performing cunnilingus:
These suggestions should give you a start, but experiment and see what you and your partner enjoy. The greatest tip of all is to relax and enjoy yourself. Enthusiasm goes further than even the best of techniques!
Tip #2: Create an oral pleasure scenario
Again, every body is different. However, some variation on the following plan should work wonders.
Set the scene with candles, fresh flowers, incense, soft music... whatever she prefers. Your thoughtfulness will surprise and delight her.
Make sure she's comfortable. Encourage her to recline on the bed. Place a few pillows behind her head. Make sure she isn't cold.
Don't dive directly for the genitals; spend some time kissing her lips, shoulders, breasts and belly. Stroke her lightly with your fingertips. Tell her how beautiful she is. Move down between her legs and gently kiss, blow, stroke and nibble her belly, inner thighs and hips.
When she's breathing heavily, gently spread her legs and kiss her pubic mound. Nuzzle around for a few minutes, spending time with the different parts of her vulva. Pay attention to her breathing; when she breathes faster, she's enjoying herself more. Take note of what she likes and repeat it.
When she sounds highly aroused -- she may be wiggling around a bit, as well -- spread her labia and gently kiss and tongue her clitoris. Don't hold the clitoral hood back unless she instructs you too -- the clitoris is highly sensitive.
Lick and nuzzle the entire area: vaginal opening, perineum, inner labia and clitoris. If she says or otherwise indicates that she particularly likes what you're doing, spend a little time there.
Wrap your arms around her hips, cupping her buttocks, and get to work on her clitoris. Apply firm pressure with the tip of your tongue in a circular motion. Be patient: you might be here awhile. If she's not responding to the clitoral pressure you're exerting, try some variations. Try tracing the letters of the alphabet across her genitals and clitoris. Try inserting your tongue into her vagina (some women dislike this, so pay attention to her response or just ask her if she likes it). Vary speed, pressure and intensity. Try inserting your fingers or a sex toy into her vagina. Be creative.
When you hear rapid heavy breathing and feel her body start to tense up, she's really enjoying the stimulation you're giving her. Whatever you do, don't stop doing what you're doing. She's probably about to have an orgasm.
Continue to stimulate and hold her while she climaxes. Be warned: women can have much longer orgasms than men and can experience waves of orgasms that last several minutes. Let her enjoy herself and continue to stimulate her until she lets you know you can stop.
Tip #3: Learn how to request (and receive) cunnilingus
While studies show that the majority of men (and lesbian women) enjoy performing cunnilingus; some may still need a little coaxing from you. Hint that if your partner pleases you, you'll take care of them too. Suggest a "69" position. Work cunnilingus into your regular sexual program, but don't expect it every time you have sex. Thank your partner by reciprocating or indulging them in one of their fantasies.
While you're on the receptive end, try to relax. One of the reasons it can take some women so long to reach orgasm is that they don't relax enough to climax. Try not to think about how you smell or taste. Don't worry that you're taking too long; it naturally takes most women longer than men to reach orgasm. Try to relax and enjoy the stimulation your partner is giving you. If you prefer, try closing your eyes and fantasizing. When you're getting ready to have an orgasm, let your partner know so they can concentrate on providing you the rhythmical stimulus you need. Ride the waves until your body is done climaxing. Then thank your partner with a long, juicy kiss.
Tip #4: Surprise her with oral sex props
You don't have to rely solely on your mouth or fingers when "going down south" on your woman. Our tongues and fingers were not made to vibrate, pulsate or gyrate and most of us can't provide unlimited stimulation with them. And, sometimes orally pleasing your partner can be downright tiring. Never fear, there are some special oral sex props that can assist you. Try the following to enhance your oral play repertoire:
How to Give Perfect Fellatio
Be Safe. First things first: If you're not with a monogamous partner, be safe and use a condom. Granted, oral sex is easier to give and enjoy without the condom, but you absolutely have to put your own health first. Don't like the taste? Not a problem. Experiment with some of the flavored condoms on the market -- that's what they're there for! And applying water-based lube to the penis before you put on the condom will greatly increase his pleasure.
Get Comfortable. Get into a position that provides you easy access but is also comfortable. Change positions as necessary -- after all, he wants you to enjoy yourself, too. If you're kneeling on the floor in front of him, use a pillow under your knees.
Don't Curb Your Enthusiasm. The key ingredient, many people will tell you, is plain and simple: enthusiasm. No one wants to feel like their partner is reluctant or unwilling, so if you're not into it, save it for another time. But if you seem like you're having fun, it will make the experience that much more pleasurable for him. Begin With the End in Mind. Unless it's just a little foreplay, take your time and pace yourself so you don't burn out early. That said, don't feel like it has to be a major commitment every time. Almost any man will tell you he'd prefer getting quicker blow jobs more often over one really great one a year. Get Him Talking. Whether it's harder, softer, faster or slower, no one knows exactly what he wants better than he does. Let him know it's okay to tell you what he needs, whether verbally or non-verbally. But also be sure to watch for clues: heavy breathing and moans of pleasure mean you're on the right track. Start Off With Style. A little variety is the best way to get him fully aroused: you can stroke, kiss, lick, run your tongue up and down the shaft, take the penis all the way into your mouth in one fell swoop... Keeping him guessing can be a real turn-on. Use Your Hands: Part 1. Run your hands over his chest and legs. Grab his backside. Use your hands to gently cup his balls. Not only does it feel good, but it's a good way to show him that you're into it. Don't Be Shy. Women often under-estimate the amount of pressure they can exert on an aroused, erect penis. There's no need to be delicate. It's good to start out with soft, tantalizing moves, but, as arousal is heightened, it will take more pressure to keep things moving along. Let him know that it's okay to tell you when it's too much. Odds are, he won't. Watch Those Teeth! Unless your partner specifically requests it, don't use your teeth. It can and probably will be painful for him. The best technique is to suck in your lips to cover your teeth just to make sure you don't accidentally graze him during the act. The Extra-Credit Secret Spot. On the underside of the penis, directly below the head, is a small ridge of skin known as the frenulum. On many men, this area is exquisitely sensitive to stimulation. Learn it. Know it. Use it.
Get Into a Rhythm. Once he's fully aroused and heading towards what will hopefully be a mind-blowing orgasm, it's time to take things up a notch. This is where you begin fellating in earnest. Use gentle (not too gentle) suction and an up-and-down motion with your head to move him toward climax.
Use Your Hands: Part 2. Grasp his penis at the base and move your hand up and down in rhythm with your mouth for increased pressure. Get a steady rhythm going and don't vary it. It can (and probably will) speed up as he gets closer, but at this point it's important to not change what you're doing. This is the very best way to make sure your excursion into blow job land reaches its grand finale.
To Swallow or Not To Swallow... That is the question. It's up to you. Many men will tell you that they kind of like it when their partner swallows (although if you did your job well, they might not even notice). But if the idea doesn't appeal, keep a towel or cup nearby so you don't have to race to the sink afterwards.
